I feel abandoned and stupid for ever thinking it would work. I’m going to be alone for a much longer time than I first suspected. I often forget that though I love people quite a lot; they can’t drop their life and follow me. I wanted so bad to have someone there for me; that I accelerated my emotions and became ignorant of the fact I’ll be in school for another 8 years and then a Psychiatrist for 20. I’m so afraid no one will stop and wait for me to finish. That when I’m done, I’ll be alone. I want to be married and have someone always there; but you have your plans and they don’t connect with mine. We won’t meet and we should have realized this at the start. Desperate hearts evoke desperate actions I suppose.
So I’m writing this new story that’s basically about a demon named Jezebeth who is the daughter of God and Lucifer(yes, God is a girl in it) and she is escorted back to Hell by Raziel, who’s an angel who works for God killing demons/escorting them back to Hell. Jezebeth comes to Earth every 200…
Because I love Julia and everything she writes is gold<33
42 more days. I think this will just be a count down now. I’m counting the days until I finally travel this route. 3,371 miles. 50 hours. The Grand Canyon. Vegas. My 42nd state. I hate the East coast with a fury. You can’t even come to understand how much I hate this entire half of America. I just want to pull up to that Welcome to Oregon Sign and scream. Wish me luck I’ll keep you up to date.
Songs drift and carry through the branches. Falling, crashing against leaves and bark. Nestled in the blue, lie the soprano notes. Catching in the white, are the soft falsettos. Pulling through the red, the strong sweet alto cries. Only stopping to fall upon the ears of an admirer. Spring calls once again, the answer was a blue bird’s plead for release.
Feathers beating at the air around them. Lifting and pushing higher into the atmosphere. Blue. Blue surrounds as wings carry and move; to distances beyond. Beyond the sights and screams around. Crashing against the particles all over. Salt pushes and pulls falling into the blue. Falling into the white. Wings pulling; forward; backward; around.
The colors shot out in that instant, like a burning collage of paint in the sky. It constantly threatened to draw water from my eyes. The rainbows and bursts in the sky, the alien-like creatures around me, all so fascinating and terrifying at once. I breathed in the dewy air and my senses were heightened existentially. It smelt of every delicious dessert you had ever dreamt of; as well as all the flowers in existence; all in that one breathe. I listened to the sounds around me, pinpointing exactly what it was I was hearing. There were birds; singing, calling one another, and chirping pleasantly. They weren’t annoying as much as they were beautiful, spectacular and alluring. I began to sing as well; that is until I felt the horrified eyes of the unexplained creatures looking in my direction but not at me. I went to feel my face, but there was nothing. Suddenly, feeling as if on the verge of tears, but not, I raced through my memories. I kept trying to put together anything before I walked out of my house. What happened after that, how was I here? My breath was shaky as I ran away from the living. Running away from my fear, I knew where I was then, as I passed through a tree that should have made my nose break instead. I screamed; blood curdling and fearful. I rolled over slamming off my alarm clock. Asobi Seksu sang from my television as I pressed the red button of the remote. I climbed out; washing my face, I began my routine.
So I’ve decided, since it’s the first day of spring, it’s time for a change. I’ve been inspired by a new blog I’ve taken a liking too. I’m going to go back to before I reblogged things that I found beautiful. Instead, I’m going to make my own beautiful things. I think we all need that in our lives; A way of discovering the things we love. Being alone this past year has showed me how unimportant it is to be in love; To be in love is to be alone in your mind. It’s dark and you’re very unsure; the only beauty you see is that small light passing through the room every so often. To be alone is to leave the room in search of beauty. I’m going on an adventure for one. With that said I look forward to showing you all a bit of the beauty I find along the way.
Our teacher didn’t come to class today so we spent the first twenty minutes doing a seance to call the ghost of Steve Jobs.
Our offering was a bagel and all of our Apple products and we made a pentagram out of people’s laptops.
that’s me on the top right.
She forgets to mention we had a legitimate psychic in the room.